Yay! This carbon pile has been a living carbon pile for 15 years as of today! I was born and now I walk around and sometimes say words to other carbon piles. As far as welcome to the world celebration days go, this was one of my better ones. Low key, there were no parties or cakes and candles, no oodles of living carbon piles wishing me a "happy birthday" ( why don't we wish folk happy days every day?), no hoopla or hulla baloo, just me and my key board, a guitar and a friend too.


Give flowers to your mom on your birthday, she did all the work



watch crime wave ( Canadian movie from 1985) at least once in your life cycle


Listen to Boards of Canada at least once a day


drink tea whenever possible




hang your sunglasses on your wall



take showers

One night voyages over land, Glastonbury CT- Providence RI- Manchester NH! Manchester NH held Hardcore shows with Life in Your Way and todd mackey. Providence held Ren Church, Pscott and the family that I miss more than most things that I've ever left in life. Gut wrenchingly convicting sermons, face to face with scott, face to face with the Almighty. Brunch at Julians with Tyler, Dan and crew. Now for the rest of a few days...

I love stories, I'd like to think that everyone and everything has a story lying right below the e of the skin. Something that lets you know, who he, she, or it is, some thing that gives meaning to existence .I think what gets me down is that I'm going to be 25 in about one week, and yet I don't feel as though I have a story, I feel as though there is not story behind me. I'm told that I'm young and have alot of life yet to live, but still I feel as though I should have something more to me than what is there. I think what I mean to say is that I know there is something under the surface of my skin, but I'm not sure what that is exactly.

Day three and the fevers still goes. I do not, will not go to the doctor, this will pass in time, all things do. Smoking has passed from me, so this will pass from me in due time as well. Netflix is a gem, guitars, effects pedals and amps are as well. Will I get my tattoo? I'm not sure, but I'd sure like to. Video journals were recorded, cameras we browsed on internet shopping sites. Work end early and I came home to rest, to write, and to draw. I'm wearing hats and lifting weights again. Surrender is the only choice on the menu, and yet I'm having trouble choosing, but I think its starting to look like a good option. He is love!

My dreams have been very specific. Pastors with crab legs instead of human ones, freaking out when babies cry, and trying to eat the squealing little ones. Girls in love with boys who have mooseheads, but only cause they feel they must me. Hiding in back rooms from the demonic baseball bat eating ushers. Finding safety with Folk I barely know in the waking life, but seem to know very well in the dream life. I just woke up from that. It could be the fact that my estranged imagination is venturing back into my skull, or it could be the fever that is still coursing through my tissues.

Listen to the National!!!

Take mucinex!!

Love Advil!!


Read a Book!!!



Say wizard at least three times aday !!!

My day in a nutshell




Cleaning rooms,
sleeping during days
Catching fevers
texting plans
breaking down in the nervous way
Telling painful brutal truths
Crying with no tears
swimming in confusion
bashing heads on pillows
flipping through the calendars
Canceling plans
hanging hats and glasses
wishing for a brighter day
Calling out to the FATHER
Eating rice
Watching Juno
Reading Iraq Journals 2003
Screaming out to the FATHER

I realize that I might have spoken out of pure frustration when last we spoke, the frustration made my words unclear, and for that I apologize.
When I say stop protesting, I don't mean stop caring, I mean stop carrying around posters and marching and going to rallies, Approx seven years of protesting and the war ain't over kids! The politicians in office aren't listening, and the ones on the campaign trail are only telling you what you want to hear. (Santa's real, right Mr. Obama? )
Don't stop caring! If anything I would encourage you to spread the peace and hope of our Father with everyone. Write a letter to a soldier over seas, we all know at least one, let him or her know that you are praying for his or her safety, let that fellow human being know that you care. Take a trip, go over seas yourself, spend some time simply loving the victims of this terrible event in history, or help fund some one else on a similar form of trip. Find a way to personally support and help the victims of this terrible event in history and them encourage those that you know to do the same thing. Most importantly, Pray! Pray!Pray! After all He is the Prince of Peace.


I do apologize for alienating more than one of you with the last bit of thought vomit that I left on this blog, but please kids, lets not waste our time with t-shirts and rallies, but let's look for real and tangible ways to make a difference, to bring peace and hope to this ball we live on.

It's futile!! Stop protesting. Sorry to say, but the war isn't gonna end just because a bunch of objectors march around in a circle or sit around holding hands with megaphones. Sure it's a bad thing, but it's not going to end because we want it to. Please find a better way to spend your time. I know it's sad, the war is unjust and Ive got friends over there just as I'm sure some of you do, but what can we expect to do? Do you honestly think the politicians and businessmen who are running this war will listen to those of us who want it to end? nope! Sure let people know where you stand, that's great, but you won't be able to stop the wheel, so stop trying!!!!!!

Good day good day. Two false wakings, then up in time for lunch. Church with Cooney, as well as coffee, ocean state joblot, and stud art ( beedazzling for badasses).
Remorse is my word for tonight, not for anything for today, but for the things that I've had to say farewell to in the past year, for the fact that this is not the first time that I've said farewell to this thing, this person, this human. Perhaps not remorse, perhaps sorrow. Sorrow for actions that repeat themselves. Sorrow for good intentions and weak movements. Sorrow for being confused about the same thing over and over again, even though the answer is clear as day! Sleep is good. So are freshly cleaned sweat pants, and a new white v-neck t-shirt, All for sleeping of course, sweatpants never leave the house!!! Never never! Put on the levis and go to work, thats in the morning!

This is my fifth blog!



I can't remember usernames or passwords for the others.



My, I'm forgetful!
Am I getting old yet?
23 days and I'll be older yet!

48 hours.... .... tic.... ..... toc....

Give me a damn smoke already!!! There are no visual benefits to report, 48 hours is not enough time to know. I'm Not There, was moving! Kate Blanchet for president! Holy lady man, music playing, Bob Dylan look alike!
Take a shower, Dim the lights, put on fresh jam jams, grab a book, hit the shuffle on the itunes, read a page or too, and then its:
zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......................................................................

And now responsibility has caught up with me. Good bye bloody marys and gourmet breakfast. Time well spent, but now work is on the menu. Time pour some coffees and crank out some stories, strum a banjo and hum some tunes. Dorothy said it was good to have me back home, and it was good to see her. Tyler was being macho and didn't say much. Father figure has started painting again, I'm excited about what might come of his endeavors, stick with it! Laundry have been done, Dorothy thought laughed at my levi obsession, Dan is worse, Parker doesn't even count.
Too cold for the roof, and too creaky for the porch, I guess I'll nestle down and close my peepers.

Failure! Lack of patience! therefore Juilians was a wash, blue elephant was the mediocre stand in. Sweet senorita! We've got hail, and it hurts the head and hands when it hits. Parker might have died in his sleep, minus the dying part of course. He looks like death, beefeater beefeater you terrible girl you, delicious and cruel! We leave tomorrow, but Dan stays, Parker and I go back to the places from whence we came, and another six months will pass before we three are carousing about town together! I'll be back soon though, it's time to ink up again, before I turn 25!
Ok the levis are on and so are my brown boots, time to see if the hail still hurts, and if I still have trouble walking! Let's go!








This blog is self indulgent!!!! What does that say about me?

2008, we're here, the future is finally here, and I'm already looking for something new. black and white ball found the three of us dancing, ginning and pinning for only God knows what or who. Many unnecessary texts and phone calls were made, I don't even think my phone works anymore. Parker and I walked the half an hour back to angel street manor, Dan stayed on the floor of the ball. Talks of God and girls, and then surrender. Guidance is key but not really what any of us want, seeing as how we're, all three of us, stubborn male men. Humility is growing, but only threw the pain of loss, and we're adjusting as He shows us the way. Sleep will be welcome, and brunch is tomorrow, back to juilians, the mecca of hipsters, and delicious bloody marys! Who's got my levis on for tomorrow?